Hi There! This is Jasper. Jasper, the German Shepherd dog. I thought I’d give my take on why dogs like socks. All dogs seem to like socks to some degree. I can’t speak about other breeds, being a German Shepherd dog. But then again, some stuff is just dog stuff.

Dryers are Rude

Mom used to say before I came along, she was convinced the dryer ate socks, since she ended up with so many socks with no matching pairs! Personally, I think the dryer just eats clean socks. Now I don’t know why it does that. I did ask it, but it didn’t answer me. Dryers are rude like that.

What puzzles me is why the dryer would want clean socks. What’s the fun in that? I personally like stinky socks. The stinkier, the better! I guess that’s all the dryer gets a chance to eat. I also don’t understand why that upsets Mom. After all, she keeps feeding the socks to the dryer.

The Saga of the Missing Shoe

But as for me, I like stinky socks! I particularly like my boy Aiden’s socks. His are the stinkiest in the house by far. Even Mom says so when she feeding them to the washing machine. His shoes are pretty stinky too! I like to collect his shoes along with his socks but for some reason that makes him mad.

Why one morning he was looking for his shoe so he could go to human school. He was running all over the place and Mom was griping at him about getting his shoes together before the morning. It was getting pretty heated, let me tell you! I decided I better go get his shoe where I hid it under my bed. There’s nothing better than sleeping with a stinky shoe you see. I was just borrowing it though. I didn’t even chew on it. Well, not much anyway.

I took that shoe and dropped it right there between them where they were arguing about being ready in the morning. They both just stopped talking and looked at me. Then they laughed. Well, I liked that so much I went back and got his socks. For some reason, he didn’t want those. There’s just no figuring out what a human will like.

Why do You Make Them Look Like A Ball if you don’t want to Play Ball?

Anyway, I like stinky socks of all kinds. It doesn’t matter what color they all. That may be because I don’t really see colors much. I’ll even grab clean socks if Mom has just rolled them up in a ball. I figure if it looks like a ball, she must want me to get it, right? We play “get the ball” a lot together, and it always makes her happy when I bring it back. She doesn’t seem to like the ball game as much when it’s clean rolled up socks. She says, “Japer, very bad word, I can’t repeat here, drop that!” It’s still kind of fun, but don’t tell Mom I said so.

I particularly enjoy grabbing a sock and making it out the door with it. That’s great fun, as Mom will send my boy Aiden out to chase me down and get the sock back. What fun! Although I have to say, my boy Aiden does not look like he is having as much fun as I am. Like I said, humans are hard to figure sometimes.

Really It’s Just Love

Really though, the reason why dogs collect socks, especially stinky ones, is we like to have your scent close by. I myself, don’t eat the socks. I may chew on them a little bit, but mostly I like to roll around on them and get all that wonderful stinky smell all over me. It’s great!

Mom says you have to be careful about your dog eating socks. It can cause all sorts of belly problems, and even require a trip to the vet. That would be a bummer. Who wants to go to the vet? So you really should not let your dog eat your socks, but maybe you could let him roll around on them a few times. After all, it’s really just love.