Hi, this is Jasper! Jasper the German Shepherd dog. I’m a dog in case you did not know. A very handsome German Shepherd dog. Also, I am very smart. I’m not bragging. It’s just the facts. We German shepherds are very smart, trusty loyal and clean…hmm, maybe not that last one.
I live with my Mom and we do most of everything together! Mom has a job where she drives around and meets with people. Well, actually Dad drives and Mom and I ride. Mom does her job in that box she calls a computer and my job is to give kisses and guard the car. Mom says she never worries about anyone trying to take our car when I am in the back seat. Why do you humans do that anyway? Seems downright unfriendly to me but hey, it keeps me in a job.
So anyway, my job is to watch all the people walking by. I also take a good many naps, and sometimes we stop to eat and I get a chicken nugget!! Just one though, because mom says they are not good for dogs. Actually, she says they are probably not good for humans either. They sure smell good though!
Now for the most part, I just watch people walk by. Sometimes they even stop to talk! If they are brave and Mom says it’s OK they may pet me on my nose. I like that! It feels really good. If I can reach them I may give them a nice slobbery kiss. It only seems fair after all. You scratch my nose, I lick yours. Now you might think, just how effective I can be as a guard dog if I’m giving out slobbery kisses? Here’s the thing though, even though I have yet to meet a human I did not like (dogs are different), I have very large teeth. See.
This seems to be enough to make most people think twice about even walking close to our car. Which is really a shame since I have so many kisses to give!.
Now that I am getting older, Mom says I am becoming more protective. She was wondering if I missed out on that gene since I seem to love all humans (not dogs). But lately I’ve become a bit more discriminating on who I choose to bark at and who I choose to kiss. Why one day I was taking a well-deserved nap in the back seat. I had been diligently guarding the car all day. Being diligent is really hard work!
There I was, having a nice dream about finally catching that squirrel in the back yard. Squirrels are very sneaky, in case you did not know that. As smart as I am, I have not come close to catching one yet! So there I am having this nice dream, and some human comes up and knocks on Dad’s window. Well, I jumped up in full guard dog mode and began barking with all my teeth showing. Did I mention I have very big teeth? Also, my voice is quite loud. That human jumped 3 feet and ran right away. Dad says he thinks he just wanted direction, but how was I to know? If he would have come back, I would have kissed him, …maybe, if he smelled right. Us dogs can smell lots of things about humans other humans can’t smell about each other.
Mom says she’s probably not going to let me kiss anyone but family anymore, just in case I do decide they smell funny. That’s too bad as I especially like kissing humans on the mouth. We dogs can learn a bunch of things from spit. Mom says most humans do not appreciate dog kisses on the mouth. Sigh. I suppose it was bound to happen. After all, when you grow up, things are bound to change.
Mom’s taught me a very nice shake hands trick. Not as much fun as slobbery kisses, but you humans seem to like it. I can also do “high five” and “wave”. It’s good to have options. Told you I was smart!
Well, that’s all I got for now.
Signing off: Jasper, the German Shepherd dog
Woof!
