Hi, this is Jasper! I’m a dog. Maybe you knew that already, if you’ve been reading my blog? “Jasper’s Take.” Today, I am going to talk about a very important subject, dog housebreaking accidents!

If you don’t already know how to housebreak your new puppy you should check out mom’s article on housebreaking new puppies. Although I suppose since I had an accident, maybe I am not the best reference.

It Wasn’t my Fault!

It really wasn’t my fault! It was my sister Dottie’s fault. You see, Dottie is a girl. Well, girl dogs don’t sprinkle, they squat and make puddles. How was I to know?! Mom says, “Tell you I have just now started lifting my leg to potty and my aim is horrible.” I keep peeing on my front leg. I don’t understand why that’s a problem. I lick it right off. Why won’t mom let me lick her face after that? Humans are very puzzling!

Anyway, I have been on this kick of marking things. Mom says it is because I am sexually mature. What’s that? Apparently, it has something to do with wanting to hump your bed. I find it all very puzzling. Honestly, I don’t know why I hump my bed. Just seems like the thing to do. But let me tell you whatever you do, DO NOT hump mom!” Big mistake! Also, I suppose I might mention here you probably might not want to pee on her either. Hey, it was only once and I was little!

Doing the Deed

So there I was minding my own business, and there was this plastic bag on the floor. Well, who wouldn’t pee on it. It might not be mine, but once I pee on it, Dottie will think it is mine, you see. It was just a little sprinkle. You don’t need much. Also, you need to save that pee as there are so many interesting things that demand marking when you are a dog! It’s a dog’s way of saying “Hi there. I was here and this is now mine”…until the next dog pees on it. Then you start all over again.

Sprinkling was my fatal mistake. I couldn’t figure out how mom knew it was me. After all, Dottie leaves an occasional puddle. Boy does that make Mom mad! She cleans and cleans. So Mom asked me, “Jasper, did you pee on this bag?” Of course, I was not admitting anything!” Then she said, “Jasper, “I know this was you!” No way she can know. I kept looking innocent. Who me? I’d never! Then she said, “Jasper Dottie does not sprinkle. This is a sprinkle. It was you, mister.”

The Gig is Up

Well, right there when she said, “mister,’ I knew the gig was up. I did a slow walk of shame to my crate, laid down, and did my best sad puppy face. See.

Mom laughed and said, “Jasper, if you had hands, I’d make you clean that up.” Guess it’s good I don’t have hands! I did offer to lick it up. But Mom was having none of that!

The real point is, Mom did not yell at me or hit me; but I AM spending more time in my crate and under Mom’s, very watchful eye! Personally, I think she should watch Dottie! After all, it’s really all her fault. (Don’t tell Mom I said that. ) Anyway, even the best of us have those not-so-proud moments. I mean, who can be perfect all the time, right?

Well, that’s all I have to say about that! Until next time, signing off!

Sincerely,

Jasper, the German Shepherd Dog.